


I Never Promised You Forever

by laughinvain



Category: DBSK|Tohoshinki|TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 15:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laughinvain/pseuds/laughinvain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin, a student at university, beings learning piano under composer Park Yoochun. When a flame is sparked, who gets burned?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gentle Sounds of an Unfamiliar Ballad

His hand shakes as he reaches for the door handle. As he enters the plain room, a shiver travels down his spine with a spike of pain accompanying each footstep. The gentle sounds of an unfamiliar ballad swell around him, stealing his breath momentarily. Regaining composure, his body leads him towards the source of the melodic tune. Upon reaching a small room, white as snow, he pauses in the arch entrance, observing the figure creating the music. With each accented note, the man playing the shining piano reacts with his body. His fingers drift gently across the ivory keys, striking with precision and grace, as his torso gently sways to the beat, head tossed back with content. As the song slows further, ending on an elegant high note, a single tear streams down the musician’s cheek.

“What do you think?” the man asks, never opening his eyes to look at the figure in the archway. This sudden act of communication startles the young man from his captivated state. With a deep breath, he recovers his composure,

“I’m Shim Changmin,” he bows, “I called you about piano lessons. You told me to meet you here to discuss matters further.” His voice, full of confidence and authority belonging to someone much older than himself, brings a smile to the musician’s face and he finally takes a step into the piano room.

“You have a pleasant voice Changmin-ah,” the man speaks, sliding on the bench to make room next to him. He pats the seat as he finally opens his eyes and meets the boy’s gaze. “Come, sit,” he pats the space on the bench beside him, “I’m Park Yoochun, but I suppose you already figured that out.”

Carefully, Changmin takes a seat next to the man and observes the grand piano sitting before him. As he resists the urge to touch the gently worn ivory keys, the man lets out a soft chuckle.

“Touch it. It’s ok. It doesn’t bite and neither do I,” Yoochun says, taking the boy’s slightly twitching hands from his lap and placing them on the keys. “Have you ever played before?”

“When I was young, my father hired someone to teach me… I don’t remember much though,” a chuckle escapes his throat, “I was more interested in math.”

“Do you remember anything? Any scales?”

“I guess I remember the C scale, but that is really simple,” he says, gently plucking the nearest “C” key.

“Well, you already know which keys are which!” the man laughs, placing his arm around the boy’s shoulders. “Keep going.” He rises from the bench, moving to stand behind the boy as the scale is finished and an arpeggio follows. “I can work with this” Yoochun thinks while the boy continues to fiddle with his hand placement on the keys. “Ok, I will teach you, but you will always be here on time, no exceptions. I want to know hours in advance if you won’t be here. I have a very busy schedule Mr. Shim, so you must learn to manage your time as I have none to waste.”

Changmin turns on the bench to face the man, his face void of emotion.

“How much do you want?” he plainly asks, earning another smirk from his elder.

“We can figure that out later,” he chuckles, “but right now, I have a bit of time. This can be your first lesson. I won’t charge and you can decide if you actually like it or not.”

The boy nods, turning back to the piano to hide his ecstatic smile, mismatched eyes and all.

***************************  
*One Year Later*

Changmin walks into the small white room that so elegantly juxtaposes the shining black of the grand piano sitting in the center. A soft sigh escapes his lips as he lets go of his exterior being. Here he is safe, here he is young, here he is everything he wants to be. Sitting before the instrument, he absorbs every imperfection of every ivory key, engraving them in his memory. His mouth forms into a simple smile. A sudden warmth greets his back as arms slide under his and reach the piano, playing a tiny tune.

“Hi Hyung,” he says, smile still in tact.

“Changminnie, you’re early,” the man states quietly, their cheeks touching as he leans closer to the younger and the piano.

“I… I know. My last class was canceled so I didn’t think you would mind me coming a few hours early,” he sheepishly whispers, head slightly dropping. “I figured that you would be here composing, or the door would be locked.”

“I just finished working for the day,” Yoochun whispers back. “I was going to go out and get a bite to eat before you got here, then I heard the door close.”

“You can still go,” the boy replies, head dropping a little lower in self-disappointment. He should have thought that the man would have had things planned before their appointment. “I can go find something to do until our scheduled time. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“You could never interrupt Changminnie,” the elder whispers with a tone Changmin had never heard him use before… sentiment. “Come on, I doubt they feed you at that place anyway,” he says, pulling away from the boy and piano before walking towards the archway. “It would be nice to have some company at lunch for a change.”

* * * * * * * * * *  
“You’re so… and there’s so much… how do you eat so much?” Yoochun stares in bewilderment as the boy finishes yet another bowl of beef kimchi stew. “Does your family feed you?”

“Huh? Oh… right… you’ve never eaten with me before. I don’t know what it is, but once I start eating I just get so hungry!” he shyly replies, putting down his chopsticks and wiping his face. “I guess I should have warned you when you invited me out…”

“You _should_ have warned me,” the man laughs, shaking his head. “Did you at least enjoy your meal?”

“Yes!” Changmin exclaims. “It was great! But I’m just happy with food in general.”

Both guys share a laugh before Yoochun pays the waitress and they leave, heading back to Yoochun’s home.

“Hyung,” Changmin starts, lowering his head in an attempt to avoid Yoochun’s gaze, “you know it has been a year since that day I came to meet you about lessons.”

“Really? It’s been a full year already?”

“One year today…”

“Huh… then I guess,” Yoochun says, putting his arm around the younger’s back, too short to comfortably reach his shoulders, “this calls for a celebration.”

“Oh, uh, I wasn’t asking for anything like that…” Changmin mumbles, “I just wanted you to know so I could give you a surprise.”

“What?” Yoochun coughs out, stunned by the younger man's comment.

“It’s nothing, really. I just prepared a little something as a ‘thank you’ for putting up with me for this long…” the boy says, his voice gradually getting softer with every word.

Yoochun unlocks the door and follows Changmin into the brisk atmosphere of his work space. Changmin slides gingerly onto the bench and slightly stretches his wrists.

“I heard this song a while ago, and I don’t know why, but it made me think of you…” he quietly whispers before playing the first chord.

As every note of the song fills the room around them, familiarity stings Yoochun. This was his song. The song he wrote for the first man he ever fell for. More chords and notes resonate from the piano as tears well in his eyes. Attempting to free himself from his emotional prison, his watery eyes fall upon Changmin. The boy feels out every note, eyes closed; body rocking with a slow, rhythmic beat; silhouette framed by the light of the summer day. He finishes the song, bows his head, and turns, searching for the approval of his mentor, finding lips crushing against his instead.

Startled, he takes a second to process what is going on before leaning into the kiss. A pair of warm hands embrace his face before the elder breaks the kiss.

“Thank you Min-ah,” tears stream down Yoochun’s face as he looks into Changmin’s eyes, “you can go. We can pick up your lessons tomorrow.” He drops his hands from the other’s face as he turns, leaving the room.

Sitting alone, Changmin finally starts breathing again. Confusion fills his mind as he absently goes to leave the small house. Reaching the door, something within him begs him to stop and go find the man. Before he can even consider this option, a gentle voice speaks behind him.

“I’m sorry Changmin-ah, I’m really sorry.”

With that, a smile finds its place on Changmin’s lips before he turns to face the man. Taking a step towards him, the boy manages to put a few words into a coherent statement.

“Happy Anniversary Yoochunie,” he chuckles, pulling the man into an embrace, “Happy Anniversary.”


	2. Don't Go

Pacing back and forth in the slender hallway, all Yoochun can think about is Changmin and that song. Three years… It had been three fucking years since he had written that song, three years since it had been stolen from him, and three years since he had vowed to destroy anyone who even mentioned it to him. But now, this young, bright, doe-eyed kid walks in and plays it for him, reminding the older man of the beauty of love; something he has long forgotten.

“Damn it Park!” he shouts at himself, yanking at his hair and trapping his face in his elbows. “Just let it go!”

With every shout, tug of the hair, and exasperating breath his heart seems to beat faster. The sounds of his own frustration masked the gently knocking coming from his front door. As he takes a moment to finally inhale another breath, the knocking gets louder. Angrily he walks to the door mumbling under his breath. Opening the door he finds the same boy who had been clouding his thoughts earlier, standing in front of him. Before Yoochun can say a word, cold hands embrace his face as warm lips collide with his. All logic gets thrown out the window as his arms find their way to the younger’s waist, pulling them closer. Changmin breaks for air and lowers his forehead onto Yoochun’s.

“What are you doing here?” Yoochun manages between breaths of cool air.

“I… I just… I just really needed to see you,” Changmin stutters, heart racing.

One more breath and Yoochun pulls Changmin inside, closing the door behind them. Changmin wanders back into the familiar piano room as he does whenever he enters the house. Sitting at the piano bench, he stares at the doorway, waiting for Yoochun to appear.

“I’m in the kitchen,” the man’s voice calls out, bringing the younger out of his trance.

Rising off the bench, Changmin heads in the direction he thinks Yoochun’s voice came from. Walking down another hallway, he sees the kitchen directly at the end. In there sits Yoochun at a dark wooden table with two glasses of water in front of him. Changmin walks in, sitting in a chair across from Yoochun. The mood has changed and both appear a little discomforted.

“Why are you here Minnie?” the elder croaks, his usually silky voice cracked and stressed.

“I told you, I just wanted to see you,” he replies, head beginning to fall with self-loathing. He knew it was a dumb idea to come here, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“Does your family know where you are?” the elder questions, avoiding eye contact.

“They think I’m at the library working on a project with a couple of classmates,” Changmin chuckles at his own lie. “Yoochunnie? Do you want me to leave?” his voice slightly drops yet sounds younger at the same time. His eyes finally meet Yoochun’s, and his puppy eyes cause the older man to slightly smile as he shakes his head in response to the question.

“What are we doing, Min?” Yoochun speaks, his voice less coarse but still strained.

“I don’t know. I figured I would just show you what I was feeling and you would take it from there…” the younger chuckles again. The thoughts of his own stupidity fill his head again. “I should just go, hyung,” he says, rising from the chair and heading for the hallway.

“Don’t go,” escapes from Yoochun’s lips as he stares intently at his glass of water. “But why me?”

“What?” a baffled Changmin turns around to look at the man.

“Why me? Aren’t there plenty of other people at that university of yours?” Yoochun whispers to his glass.

“Because you don’t expect more out of me because I'm smart; you don’t push me to do things I don’t want to do; when you talk about music, your eyes glow; and with you I feel like I can breath,” he whispers, kicking the invisible dust around his boot.

Still staring at the cup, Yoochun chuckles. “Is that it kid? I make you feel special?” he scoffs.

“I didn’t say that,” Changmin slightly protests. “Look, I don’t know what I’m doing! Something inside told me to learn that song for you, and then you kissed me. I don’t know what is going on in that creative mess you call a brain, but I can’t just pretend like nothing happened.”

Changmin’s angered and slightly aggressive tone catches Yoochun’s attention just in time for him to see the young man coming at him. Yoochun stands, realizing how short he is compared to the boy towering before him. He braces himself for whatever rage the younger tries to throw at him, and he feels warm hands grip his face tightly before lips attack his own.

For a moment he just stands there, shocked by Changmin’s bold move. Regaining control of himself, Yoochun wraps his arms around Changmin’s waist, pulling their slender bodies tightly together before using his body to force Changmin against nearby wall. Changmin releases a slight grunt at the force of his body being sandwiched between this man and the kitchen wall.

“There’s no going back,” Yoochun huffs while they both take a moment to catch their breaths. “Leave now so you won’t get hurt.”

With that, Changmin slides along the wall, pulling his body away from the older man’s. He takes a step forward as Yoochun lets out a discrete sigh. Turning slightly, he grabs the composer’s right arm, pulling him along the hallway. It takes a moment for Yoochun to register Changmin’s actions and where their intended destination is. He quickens his pace, the younger now being pulled down the slender hallway. Reaching another room, Yoochun pushes Changmin in and closes the door behind them.

“Last chance Minnie,” Yoochun says between panting breathes. “If we start this, there is no going back.”

Without skipping a beat, Changmin pulls Yoochun’s hips into his own. A pleasured moan escapes Yoochun’s throat and Changmin leans in for another kiss. Passion consumes them as Yoochun slides his hands under the hem of the younger man’s shirt. He gently traces the soft flesh beneath his fingers trailing down to the top of a pair of well fitting jeans and a pair of lanky hands fumble with the buttons of his shirt.

***************

Staring at the keys in front of him, Yoochun slowly closes his eyes, succumbing to the melodic tune filling his mind. Taking the blank score from the music stand of the ebony piano, he scribbles down notes and rhythms, gently rocking his body to the beat of his mind. Seven pages are filled before he pauses to look up at the time. Perfect he thinks, noting the imminent arrival of his young lover. He flips the pages of the score back to the beginning and places the book back on the stand before him. Gently, he sips his coffee until the familiar sound of the door opening catches his attention. Swallowing his mouthful of tea, he places the cup back on the saucer and begins to play his new creation.

Changmin is captivated by the unfamiliar song as he mindlessly walks to the room he is all too familiar with. Standing in the archway, he absorbs every pitch, phrase, and movement of the musician. This happy tune was uncharacteristic of the artist, but wonderful nonetheless. The piece concludes, and he is simply stuck with wonder.

“What do you think?” Yoochun asks, beaming from the piano bench.

“That was amazing. Did you just write that?”

“Yeah… My manager has really been hounding me about completing this second album,” he states. “I was just a little stuck… that is, until you came along,” he whispers, chuckling under his breath.

Changmin smiles slightly before entering the room and sliding himself onto the bench with Yoochun.

“I need to talk to you about something,” Changmin mumbles, somewhat lowering his head.


	3. Empty Rooms

Slowly, his long fingers caress the fine ivory of the keys. A quick plunck here, a chord there, and he finds himself fully enveloped by the sound swelling in the petite room. The deeps cries of left-hand chords mask the sound of footsteps approaching him. Warm arms slide beneath his, hands meeting the keys without missing a beat. The two continue to play their harmonious song until the younger stumbles over his own fingers, creating a discordant interruption.

“You’re getting better Minnie,” the elder whispers into his ear, arms wrapping around his waist.

“Thanks Hyung,” he says softly, hanging his head in disappointment.

“Why did you start playing without me today?” the voice coos at the crook of his neck.

“I don’t know Chunnie, I just felt the music come to me today.” The boy whispers sheepishly. “I practiced while I was away.”

The elder has stopped listening to him, placing gentle kisses on his neck.

“I missed you… you know,” he adds as slight nips at his neck send shivers down his spine. But with his words, the man loosens his grip and steps away from him.

“Show me.”

Changmin turns on the piano bench, his eyes meeting those of Yoochun’s, dark eyes full of lust. A scoff escapes his mouth at the bewilderment he feels at the other’s words.

“I guess I know just how you missed me,” he sighs as Yoochun leans over him.

“Oh you have no idea,” his lips graze Changmin’s as a wry smile forms on his lips. 

Ever so gently, his lips close around the boy’s bottom one in a gentle peck. He can feel Changmin relax at this simple sign of affection.

“Come on Minnie,” he nudges the younger’s cheek with his nose, “lets get down to why you really came here.”

Grabbing Changmin’s hand, he gently pulls the younger to a standing position and down the slim hallway. About half way down, he swings Changmin against the wall, pressing their bodies together. The sound of panting fills the small abode.

“Wait, I can’t,” Changmin lifts his head in an attempt to pull away. “We shouldn’t do this now.”

“You’ve been gone for months, Minnie.”

“I know… its just…”

Yoochun backs away while releasing a small huff of exasperation. His greatest fear was being realized. After only a small amount of time apart, there was no room in the younger man’s life for him. “Its fine, Changmin-ah.” He fakes a smile. “Let me get you some tea or coffee and you can tell me about the trip.”

Turning away, Yoochun shoves down his anger and heads to the kitchen. The water is already boiling before he notices that Changmin has yet to follow him. Two cups of instant coffee in hand, he reenters the piano room where he finds the bright-eyed boy just staring at the ivory keys. He places the cups on top of the piano in front of him and slides down onto the bench beside him.

“Just tell me,” Yoochun says to him, “Tell me what it is you need to so we can both start breathing.”

“I love him” Changmin whispers.

“Wha.. Wai… who?” 

“The man I studied with while I was abroad,” his head hung low. He could almost hear Yoochun’s heart breaking. “Nothing happened… not that that probably matters… and he has someone… which also probably doesn’t… and I don’t know how it happened… but I think he just reminded me of you.”

The flames of anger inside him died as ice settled back in over his heart. He had figured that his young love’s distress was related to something like this, but he had hoped that either he was wrong or that he would at least never admit it to him. In the boy’s defense, they weren’t together, it wasn’t cheating, this wasn’t an affair or something he could really justify getting angry about. They were lovers, sure, but that was where it ended. He was the teacher and the boy was his muse. 

“I finished the album,” Yoochun heard himself say. The boy raised his head, slightly confused. “I hope you’ll listen to it one day. It might be one of my best.” He raised himself from the piano and walked out of the room, leaving the boy alone with the coffees and piano. He left the house, walking at an increasingly faster rate. He walked until he was running down the street as fast as he could and then stopped when he could no longer breathe. 

Hours passed before he could bring himself to return home. The door was unlocked, a light was on, but the house was empty. In the kitchen he found the two coffee cups drying, and on the piano he found a letter with “Yoochunie” written across the folded front. He tossed it into the trash and went to bed.

********

Not long after him and the boy parted ways, the musician’s album debuted as a huge success, and he was back into the performance scene. He would barely ever be home, and quite frankly he liked it that way. There was still a discomfort in the emptiness of those rooms. 

He was back for a few days and found himself sitting on the floor, absorbing the silence. An hour or so passed and he went to the kitchen to get a glass of water before returning to his sudo-meditation when he heard the front door open. Soft footsteps walked through the house and stopped in the piano room. Gentle music began to swell and a painfully familiar song froze him. Memories flooded through him and the glass slipped from his hand, shattering on the floor. The music stopped and footsteps raced to locate the source of the sound.

Changmin stood there, stunned at the sight of Yoochun in the kitchen, shattered glass and water at his feet, tears in his eyes. Yoochun stared at Changmin, fear and worry in his eyes but caution stopping him from moving any closer.

“I didn’t know you were…”

“What are you doing he…”

They try and speak at the same time.

“I’m sorry,” Changmin finally speaks before walking around the musician to get a towel. “I thought you would still be in Europe.”

Ignoring the glass, Yoochun walks over and grabs Changmin’s arm and pulls him away from the cabinet. “What are you doing here?” Changmin yanks his arm away and goes over to start cleaning the floor. Yoochun grabs his arm again and pulls him off the floor. “What are you doing here? Are you using my home to practice while I’m gone? Do you run off to him when you’re done to show-off how you’ve improved? Answer me!” he yells, tears running down his face.

Changmin pulls his arm away and throws the towel to the ground before walking away, slamming the front door behind him. Yoochun falls to his knees. He had imagined a thousand different ways that he would see the boy again and a thousand different ways that he would react. He never saw this happening.

He left the mess on the floor and went to his room. The front door opened and closed and footsteps pattered through the house until stopping in the bedroom.

“I just missed you,” a familiar voice whispered. “That was all.”

Yoochun sat up and saw his lanky lover standing in the doorway. “You don’t get to miss me. You gave that up. I never asked you to be mine, we were never “us”, you didn’t do anything wrong, except leave, which you were allowed to do… but don’t pretend like you didn’t know what you were doing. You may be young, Minnie, but you’re not stupid.”

“I went to him when I left you,” the younger one final spoke. “It’s true. I told him I thought that I loved him and that I was sorry because I knew he was in love with someone else, but he needed to know how I felt. Then he asked me why. We sat down for hours talking about what it was I was feeling and why I was feeling it and none of it was love, but admiration… I was right that it was the same way it felt about you, but there were things that were different. And what it came down to was, when the music stops, you’re the one I want to be with. It just took me a while to figure that out.” 

Changmin climbed onto the bed to sit with the musician. “I heard the album. Its amazing, but you already know that.”

“Its your’s.”

“What?”

“Every piece is about you, inspired by you, created by you. Its your’s.”

Changmin softly kissed his former lover’s lips and whispered “I’m sorry”, unable to look him in the eye.


End file.
